I’ve been on too many flights to count, and aside from the occasional pleasant conversation, all of them have been pretty uneventful.
That’s exactly why I had to chronicle my best flight ever. If you’ve been following my adventures on snapchat, then you know I got bullied by a nine year old boy and subsequently got asked out for drinks by said boy. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard on a flight.
I was catching the second leg of my flight, Brisbane to Sydney, and was seated next to two unaccompanied minors. Sasha, a red headed seven year old, had the window seat, and Hamish, a nine year old too small for his age sat in the middle, next to me.
As soon as I sat down, I knew I was in for a long flight. The boys immediately pushed their devices onto my lap, Sasha insisting that I watch blurry videos of his dog, and Hamish showing off his Jedi skills in his homemade movies.
At one point, the younger of the two boys looked at me and declared, “I have to pee!”
I stared at him and bluntly said, “Not my problem,” yet somehow ended up holding all of his snacks and his juice while wiggled out of his seat. Clearly, they were growing on me by that point.
A little later, Hamish and I started joking around and he decided to remind me what nine year boys are really like.
“You look like a poor person,” Hamish quipped. I had barely made the flight and was wearing a dive t-shirt and no makeup. My jaw dropped, and he hit me with another one.
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Then you must be a lesbian.”
I realized I was sitting next to the sassiest nine year old in the world and I refused to be trolled by a little boy, so I immediately let him know that I would drop kick him through the emergency exit of this plane if he didn’t cool it with the remarks.
If you’re thinking, “Pauline, you did not say that to a little kid,” then you’re mistaken.
Hamish smiled at me because he realized I could hold my own, and that two could play his game. He spent the rest of the flight sitting politely, teaching me his iPad games and even feeding me his Pringles. He even asked me out for a drink, and when I asked him if he knew what that meant, he said, “no, but they do that in the movies!”
I think I cried laughing.
When I got up to leave, Hamish looked at me and said, “I won’t forget you, you’re the nicest person I sat next to on a plane.”
I gave him a high five, but I wish I had given him a big bear hug.
“You too little homie.”