I’m sure you all were wondering if I actually go to classes here or if I just spend my days eating tapas, picking up strangers and sitting on my balcony.
Well, I do all of those things, but I also go to class for three hours every Monday through Thursday. I’m not quite sure how this qualifies as real school, though. I’m taking Don Quijote, Spanish Cinema, Spanish Art and Spanish Law.
Spanish Law is actually more exciting than it sounds, but only because the professor is way hot. Realistically, he’s like a solid seven, but being a professor boosts him to a nine. Throughout class he’ll butcher English words and it’s absolutely adorable. I like to let my mind wander during his lecture: Spanish professor. English student. Oh so scandalous.
Then, of course, I found out he’s gay.
I’m going to pretend that I don’t know that, because honestly I cannot sit through an hour and a half of law jargon without some kind of distraction.
Another one of my classes is taught by an 86 year old professor who looks a lot like Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings. He has taught at about 15 universities throughout his career and has lived quite the beautiful life. He’s also most definitely a wizard.
On October 3rd, 1968, he died. Gandalf was actually dead for a few minutes and a doctor signed his death certificate. He was later revived, but I lost him for a bit during that story so I’m not quite sure how that resurrection went down.
Wait, it gets better.
When Gandalf was a child, his best friend was a wolf who would protect him from bullies at school. The police killed his wolf friend when he was six, and now the animal visits him in his dreams.
Gandalf also loves to tell us about his wife, the bane of his existence. She’s 24 years younger than him and I am convinced she was once his student, which is quite scandalous and exciting. When he wants her to know how much he loves her, he simply puts his hand on her cheek and gazes into her eyes. Cue roomful of girls swooning.
When he isn’t telling us about his personal life, the class is essentially an hour and a half of Gandalf lecturing on sex, erections and homosexuals.
Yep. Twice a week, I get to listen to an 86 year old man talk about sex.
It all specifically pertains to Salvador Dalí and how his art was greatly influenced by his sexual depravity. The dude was pretty freaky, and to understand his art you have to understand Dalí’s sex life, or lack there of. What make the class even more fascinating is that Gandalf knew Dalí personally. Cool stuff, right?
See, I’m most definitely learning.
